Cookie jar relationships have been known as a brand new relationship development, however in truth it’s only a new title for habits that has been happening for a very long time. So what precisely are cookie jar relationships?
It is when somebody is holding you as an option, however by no means actually considers you for a monogamous, long-term relationship. They are holding you as an choice, and at any time when they need a “cookie”, they pull you out of the jar.
Have you been relationship somebody who by no means makes plans upfront? If so, chances are you’ll be in a cookie jar relationship. Keep in thoughts, there are different cookies in that jar as properly. Not simply you. You might not know concerning the others, it is determined by whether or not or not they want to let . They are holding their choices open, and you’re one in all many.
People that do that need to have a back-up plan. They normally don’t like being alone. They need somebody they will meet up with final minute for intercourse, dinner, their ego, and so on. While pursuing a relationship with somebody they really are concerned about having a long-term relationship with, they nonetheless hold these cookies within the jar. Until they know for certain the long-term relationship has an honest basis, they’ll hold you round. Once they’re able to settle into their potential relationship, they normally drop the cookies all collectively.
They are utilizing you as a again up plan, in case it doesn’t work out with another person. They nonetheless gained’t provide you with a real chance although. In fact they’re utilizing you for firm till somebody higher comes alongside. Harsh, however the fact.
You don’t need to waste your time ready round in someones “cookie jar” to be pulled out when they’re within the temper for slightly deal with. If somebody doesn’t keep up a correspondence with you frequently, solely to name you final minute to return over, that’s precisely what could also be taking place to you.
Has your relationship grown over time? Are you a recognized presence to his household and pals? Do you exit and do issues collectively or simply spend time at your own home or theirs? Is it subsequent to not possible to make plans forward of time with this individual? Do you get little or no of their free time, or do they let you know they’ve little or no free time as a consequence of work, and so on? These are some purple flags that could be indicators you’re being cookie jarred.
It would be the time to have a dialogue with them about the place they see your relationship headed. It’s time to ask them level clean when they are going to be able to make a dedication to you. You have a proper to ask questions like this, as a result of it’s your time they might doubtlessly be losing. They might get defensive, and so they might lie. But as soon as it’s out within the open, in the event that they actually need to hold you of their life, they’ll do what must be carried out. If they don’t, they gained’t. It’s that easy.