15 Ways to Start a Conversation With a Guy Over Text (+ 4 Ways NOT to)

So you swiped proper on a relationship app and matched up with a man. Maybe you’re on Bumble, the place the women have to begin the dialog. Or you wish to textual content a person you met by a good friend. Whatever the state of affairs, now you wish to know learn how to begin a dialog with a man over textual content.

What You Need to Know About How to Start a Conversation with a Guy Over Text

If you’re getting again into relationship after a protracted break, you may be shocked at how important texting has become in dating. You’re more likely to textual content somebody you’re seeing than speak to him on the telephone, at the least early on, so be prepared for that shift from the best way issues had been the final time you dated. (Remember ready by that LANDLINE for his name?!)

Even in the event you contemplate your self pretty savvy at texting your girlfriends (you’re generally known as the GIF consumer in your group), notice that you just nonetheless have to know learn how to begin a dialog with a man over textual content…and preserve his consideration, as a result of it’s a bit completely different from the way you’d work together with your pals.

Let’s break down your texting into three sections:

  • Getting the celebration began
  • Keeping the dialog flowing
  • Letting him know you’re into him

That first text is so essential. Whether you’re too impatient (or assured) to attend for him to textual content you first, or whether or not you could have his quantity and he doesn’t have yours, you’re as much as bat, so that you wish to ensure that your textual content is participating, witty, and intriguing in order that he’ll textual content you again.

Here are just a few ideas to make sure that he eagerly responds to that first textual content you ship.

1. Do More Than Say “Hey.”

You’re a sensible girl, so why would you waste worthwhile texting actual property with a very dumb beginning line?

Nearly 30% of 18-24-year-olds are totally cool with “hey” as an intro text…however you’re not in that demographic, are you? Go with one thing that requires a bit extra mind and requires a response from him.

2. Get Inspiration from His Dating Profile.

If you’re on a relationship website, learn his profile and discover one thing you may ask a query about (questions require a solution and preserve the dialog going!).

You may see a photograph of him on the prime of a mountain:

“Looks such as you’re into mountaineering like me! What’s your favourite path?”

Or his profile may say he speaks 4 languages:

“Four languages, huh? Parlez-vous français? Parli italiano?”

Some relationship websites have icebreakers, like having the consumer checklist two truths and a lie:

“I’m going to guess that your lie is…rescuing a child tiger from the clutches of a bear. Am I proper?!”

3. Text Only When You Have Time to Respond.

Ping! You get a notification in your telephone that you just’ve matched with a person. You’re wanting to get the dialog began…however don’t do it except you may immediately reply and maintain a dialog ought to he reply instantly.

You’re extra more likely to launch a textual content dialog in the event you reply promptly to his reply…in any other case, he may lose curiosity and discover one other girl to textual content.

4. Make Him Laugh.

If you may pull off humorous, it’s an incredible technique to begin a dialog with a man over textual content.

“OMG! I used to be typing to ask if this was the one paid relationship website you had been on and autocorrect made it ‘ache relationship website!’ Oh my! I don’t suppose it’s that sort of website…do you? 😨

5. Time Your Text.

Realize that you just may, with out that means to, talk desperation along with your textual content relying on what time you ship it. Texting for the primary time on a Friday night at Eight pm may inform him that you just’re a bit determined for a date.

Texting very first thing within the morning might be overwhelming too…and even wake the man up. Aim for after work, possibly round 6 on a weekday, for one of the best shot of getting a reply.

Once You Get Rolling

Now that he’s responded and also you’re texting forwards and backwards, how will you preserve the dialog going?

6. Focus on Getting to Know Him.

Now is the time to ask questions so you may decide whether or not this man is an effective match and potential suitor. But…don’t bombard him with questions! Keep a wholesome mixture of questions and feedback.

Try to present him an opportunity to ask you questions in return. While there doesn’t must be a 1:1 ratio of textual content questions (ladies are typically extra curious than males, I’ve discovered), again off in the event you’ve requested a number of in a row with out him having an opportunity to ask his personal.

7. Pay Attention to Whether He Asks Questions.

If he doesn’t ask many questions, he’s not .

It’s a pink flag in the event you’re the one one who’s curious and asking questions. One option to make him notice that you just wish to really feel like he’s making an attempt to get to know you is:

“Sorry for all of the questions! I’m simply naturally curious. It’s your flip to ask just a few!”

If he doesn’t chunk after that, he most likely isn’t sufficient to place any effort into attending to know you. Move on.

8. Watch That Tone.

The factor about textual content messages is that generally they are often misinterpreted. What might need been a sarcastic and witty remark in your head might come out snarky and imply.

Always learn your texts earlier than you ship them, and ask your self whether or not somebody who didn’t know you properly may misunderstand your intention. If there’s even a shadow of a doubt, rewrite the textual content.

9. Spell Words Out.

U r nt a teen. Dn’t txt lyk 1.

Grownups spell phrases out. For Pete’s sake, you’ve obtained “voice to textual content”, so how lazy are you able to be?

Realize that in the event you use abbreviated phrases and even dangerous grammar or punctuation, you may be judged by the person you’re texting: 75% of men judge bad grammar.

How to Show Interest

Let him know you’re into him!

Once you notice that you just’re hitting it off, be sure to let him know that you just’re interested by your texts so you will get that first date scheduled.

Because you’re interacting by way of textual content, it may be more durable to speak curiosity than it could be in individual, so use these tricks to get it proper.

10. Call Him By His Name.

It’s delicate, however calling this man by his identify within the textual content (or later, by telephone or in individual), communicates your curiosity.

You can even name him endearing phrases like:

11. Give Him Your Number.

If you’ve been texting by a dating app, step up your recreation and provides him your telephone quantity. This tells him that you just like him sufficient to maneuver to the subsequent step on this recreation. A date gained’t be far behind.

12. Ask Questions That Show Interest.

Everyone feels good when somebody exhibits curiosity in what they do and care about! If he instructed you yesterday that he was going to observe the sport, ask who gained.

Ask what he likes about his job.

Ask what he’d do if cash had been no problem.

Ask how his work presentation went.

Ask how his good friend that broke his arm is doing.

Essentially, you wish to present that you just’re taking note of what he’s saying and that you just care sufficient to retain that info.

13. Text Him Throughout the Day.

Think about how you are feeling when a person texts you to want you good morning every day, or makes some extent to say “good evening” by way of textual content.

It feels good, proper?

So do the identical to let this man know that you just’re pondering of him.

Here’s the one caveat: cease doing it if he’s not reciprocating. If you take a look at your textual content chain and see that it’s been primarily you popping in to say hello, again off. If the texts aren’t more back-and-forth, he is probably not .

14. Flirt a Little.

One surefire option to let a person know that you just’re into him is to flirt. There’s no have to go overboard, however ensure that he is aware of you need extra than simply being pals.

You might ship him a selfie the place you’ve obtained a horny smile…

…or ask him for a photograph…

…in the event you’ve gone out, you could possibly inform him you may’t wait to see him once more…

It might not come naturally at first, however with a bit follow (give my Flirting Workshop a strive), it’ll turn out to be second nature.

15. Use Emojis.

Emojis aren’t only for youngsters! A carefully-chosen one can categorical greater than phrases.

😚 😘

These kissing emojis makes it clear that you just’re !


If he compliments you, you may at all times blush!


If he says one thing that makes you much more gaga about him, use this one.

How NOT to Start a Conversation with a Guy Over Text

Now that we’ve lined learn how to begin a dialog with a man over textual content, in addition to learn how to categorical your curiosity in him, let’s cowl just a few no-nos in texting.

Bombard Him with One Text After Another.


Unless you need him to ghost you, let him reply earlier than you ship one other textual content. It would require endurance, however belief me on this.

There’s a woman in Arizona who sent a man 159,000 texts (and stalked him) after only one date! Don’t be that girl!

Pout if He Doesn’t Respond Immediately.

Clearly one thing is flawed if he doesn’t reply inside just a few seconds. Right?


You could also be wrapped up within the fantasy of this man doing nothing however fascinated by you all day, however in actuality he’s most likely working, operating errands, sleeping…or simply not obtainable. Don’t assume the worst. Again, have a bit endurance.

Go Too Deep Too Soon.

Work, hobbies, pursuits are all acceptable matters for early texts earlier than you’ve gone out. Save the connection historical past, politics, and faith for later.

Signs You Should Move On

A variety of ladies I’ve coached get pissed off that they’re not higher at studying the indicators that a man isn’t interested. It might be difficult to observe for these cues, significantly in the event you haven’t been single that lengthy.

Let me provide you with just a few indicators to look out for.

It’s All Text and No Movement Forward.

Texting is nice, however in the event you’re doing it for per week or extra, you threat turning into pen buddies. Sure, some guys are slower than others, but when he’s not asking about your schedule or whether or not you could have plans for the weekend, he may not wish to meet.

You can, after all, take initiative and ask him out. That method you may at the least see if he’s .

He Seems Permanently Unavailable.

If he can’t or gained’t meet, he may be catfishing you.

If this man travels lots or is out of city for an indefinite time frame, you’ve obtained to first ask your self why he’s on a relationship app. If he can’t meet, what’s the purpose?

Also, notice {that a} man who is that this unavailable may be catfishing you. That’s not essentially the case, however remember that some males (and ladies) create pretend profiles with the target of messing along with your head or simply as a result of they’re bored.

He’s Taking the Conversation Sexual Too Fast.

You’re not a prude, however jeez, you’d like to fulfill a person earlier than sexting. If this man is making you uncomfortable, block him. There’s no motive why a person ought to make sexual overtones too quickly, particularly in the event you’re not reciprocating.


Even if this doesn’t find yourself being your Prince Charming, you at the least obtained follow on learn how to begin a dialog with a man over textual content!

It’s like several ability: the extra you do it, the higher you get at it. Just preserve it gentle and have enjoyable with it.

And if issues do work out, you’ve efficiently realized learn how to use one other communication channel that possibly you didn’t use if you had been final single many years in the past. Texting generally is a nice asset in a relationship!

Want a bit extra assistance on learn how to begin a dialog with a man over textual content? My Love Texting Report consists of precise texts you could copy and paste to get the dialog rolling. Download it today!

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